Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Amphibolic verbs without hesitations....

If we were able to weave dreams and thoughts, and turn it into a glimpse of reality, would it be sufficient to provide the happiness that we hoped for in a lifetime?

If we were able to converge opinions and words, and turn it into a glimmer of hope, would it be enough to furnish euphoric scenarios in this world of diversity?

But if those words are not good enough, or in turn be the source of wrath that might send hopes into oblivion, will we be able to still stand and harbour those aspirations of exaltations in life itself?

And if those utterances and statements is detrimental to those moments, will it be enough to heal those wounded expectations, that might in turn aggravate the patience of others that rely on it?

Sincerity is an option for which human beings are allowed to choose as to answer these inconclusive metaphores. As they say, to err is human and to forgive is divine.

Or maybe keeping your choice of words and expressions limited is the best resolution. Inarticulation might do the trick in comforting the whole debacle caused by optimistic and excessive tittle-tattle.

But as they also say, silence is not a virtue. Patience is.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Laugh it out loud....

I have been told by a lot of people that I have a gift. And they say, I don't have to do anything to show it off. People will just know I have that gift.

They say I have the gift of making people laugh.

Quite interesting isn't it? But I kind of noticed that too. I don't have to say anything funny, people will laugh by just looking at me. I'll just do my thing, whether it's just talking or just a stare, and the next thing I know, I'll have them in stitches. Without any intention of being funny, I actually came across as a hilarious guy. Sometimes, in conversations or discussions with friends, there's always a huge laugh right after I'm done talking. And all I did, was just talk and saying something that was on my mind.

Strange yet amusing, right?

One friend has a very interesting way of describing how funny I was. He said, if I was to enter a comedy contest, I don't have to crack a joke or even say word when I got up on stage. Just stand there, be still, and I'll end up winning the whole thing. Although it's quite flattering to hear that kind of compliment, but still there's a sense of awkwardness when I heard that.

To some, they might take that as an insult or feel disrespected. But I'm ok with it. I mean, I dont feel disrespected or anything. But still, if it happens too frequently, it's gets a little uncomfortable. It's like, once in a while, a little bit very much welcomed too.

But, hey, a gift is a gift. I should be thankful I guess. It's much better making people laugh rather than making people mad. At least when they laugh, they're happy. If it makes them happy, then good for them. I'm kind of used to being laughed at anyway.

Who knows, maybe one day, I'll be laughing too.

Monday, July 14, 2008

Nerves of steel or complacency in disguise....

Is it our nature as human beings, to act as though we knew enough about humanity, that we have the audacity to look down and laugh at others?

Do we think we're good enough to say that although our life has been blessed with all the ingredients to make it better, that we have the gumption to question, why are we the deserted ones?

For once, we should look in the mirror of thoughts, and recognize the facts that we are the lucky ones, and try not to be cynical or critical about the lives of others as we are not that complete either.

Maybe for once, we could use a little bit of humility in times like these.

Monday, July 07, 2008

Traces of memories...

I have a cousin who I used to look up to because of his cool character and his achievements in life. He's one of those few who has it all. Great job, good salary, a happy family...everything. And lucky me, I was his favourite cousin.

Although he's much older than me, but still, since I was a kid, we always managed to have great and fun conversations. He's like the brother I never had. He makes it a point to drop by at my house everytime he went back to see his family. And the fact that my mom took care of him when he was a kid, makes our bond a lot more stronger.

When I was 19, he once told me;

You know, if anyone told you that you are special, just take that as a compliment and move on. Jangan cepat bangga diri and jadi megah. Sebab the truth is, we are nothing compared to the billions of stars and planets that God created around us. Bukan maknanya you can't feel good about yourself. It's just by thinking of it that way, you'll keep your feet on the ground.

I don't really understand what he meant when he said that. But I just smiled and nodded as if I understand every word he said. I looked at him, and I knew his train of thoughts is just making circles in his brain.

As time passes by, we kind of lost contact with each other. I didn't keep in touch with him and neither did he. What I heard from my mom, is he had a string of bad luck. Lost his job, problems with his marriage and all sorts of bad thing that you could think of. I felt sorry for him when I heard that, so I decided to give him a call, just to see how he was doing.

I'm ok lah. Sapa suruh call?

Mana ada sapa-sapa suruh call. Saja call, tanya khabar.


Look, I'm sorry if it's a bad time...

No lah..hey, ingat tak last time, when I told you about that special and stars thing tak?


Masa tu, ko tak paham pun what I'm trying to say right?

Lebih kuranglah. But now I do.

It's good that you remembered. Because I forgot about that. And look what happened to me.

No lah...jangan cakap macam tu. Everyone has their ups and downs.

It's true you know..? And you know what makes me more sad....? That's the best advice anyone has ever given to me. I preached it to everyone I know. And I blew it because I forgot about it. You know who gave me that advice tak?


Your dad. He's a good man. I really look up to him. He's the only one that believed in me besides your mom, and I let him down.

Don't look at it that way lah... One day, you'll get back on your feet and you'll be just fine.



You know what, you sounded just like him. That's good. The world needs more people like you and him.

I'm thankful enough if I turn out to be half the man my dad was. To be described in the same league as he is, that's an honour.

Friday, July 04, 2008

Pother alert...

I have to admit, I have this tendency of driving people around me crazy. I don't know why, but I realize that my actions or my words can sometime irritate and annoy the hell out of people.

To tell you the truth, I'm really not doing it on purpose. It's just sometimes, the fact that I want everything to be ok, simply affect the way people look and perceived your approach towards certain things. And to make things even worse, I don't even realize that I'm doing it.

Maybe I should use my brain a lot more often so that I won't screw up that much. The thing that makes me more mad about myself, is that I kept pushing for some space that people want for themselves, and I forgot the most important thing is to let people be. Not bugging them with the hope that all things will be alright and all that. My guess is, excessive optimism and agathism is just not good for you and the people around you.

I guess, I should just shut up, stop nagging and bugging people. I've pushed people away from me all my life with my constant insecurities and complexities, and I don't want it to happen again. It's just time to be quiet and be still.

Chill. And everything's gonna be alright. Maybe that's the best way to deal with things.